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Sometimes, I think that the hardest person to live with is yourself. Really, I've been so depressed lately, it's starting to take its toll. It's gotten better, and I hope it goes away soon, but it's so strange since I've never been this down for so long since elementary. I'll just keep swimming until I get to warmer waters I guess.

Writer's Block: Daydream believer

If you could choose to control your dreams, would you? If so, what would you dream about?

Actually, I'm pretty cool with most of my dreams. They're very interesting and follow no logic at all, which is always fun when you have no idea what you're doing. But then, I almost never remember my dreams. I guess, the only part I would control about dreaming is to be able to recall whatever I dreamt. Though, is that really a part of dreaming? Hm...well, for me, I guess it'll have to do. heh...

Writer's Block: Prone to puns

How would you describe your sense of humor in six words or less?

ha ha ha ha. weird. (does "ha" count as a word? -.-)


It seems...that I've matured. Immensely. I'm not sure if this is normal for people going through high school, to change so much mentally. I went over my previous (and very sparse) entries, and realized that my mind then really showed my age as compared to now. Not too sure if that made sense though. Life hasn't done anything out of the ordinary besides just moving on. I think I was just really hyper when I was typing everything as opposed to now. Anyway, I apologize for anyone having the misfortune of coming across my child-like and pointless ramblings. My finger hurts from being jammed in the door...

EdxAl fanfic

meh, felt like it, and I don't know how to set up another page for this. I hope you see this chelsea!!
Title: Wishlist

Summary: There was this one wish that Al must never let Ed know of.

Warnings: light dashes of- Shounen-ai (boy love), incest (family love), unbeta-ed (please give me love, jk), product of boredom

Disclaimer: yadayada, if FMA was mine, it'd be so bad even I'D cry.

Setting: in the FMA brotherhood version. I don't remember much from the first one that's not mixed with the brotherhood, so i'll stick to what i know XP

So, I've always carried this little black book with me, you know? No, it's not for getting girls' numbers and stuff. It's all the things I'm gonna do when I get my body back. I'm really looking forward to Winry's apple pie. Big brother's always talking about it, and I really want to try it out. And then there's that part of holding a baby. The whole birthing process was pretty crazy, but the little tyke looked so adorable! Then there's about fifty other things I wrote down.

But, there this one thing that I can't write down.

It's the absolute first thing I want to do when I get my body back.

Except, no one should know about this.

Especially Ed.

The thing is, having an empty armor suit for a body isn't very fun. Sure bullets and weapons don't work and I never get tired, and I never feel the weird hormone things that people usually go through. But I have my own needs too.

I want to touch Ed.

Not like sex-touch Ed. That would be too awkward for the first time. I just...want to feel him. It's been so long since I've last felt any human contact, much less my own brother's. I've heard that a person's skin is really soft and warm. I've always wondered if it would be the same for big brother, since he's always fighting and all. Every night when I'm watching over him, just seeing him sleep and dream away, this really painful feeling settles over my mind. It's weird since it's in my soul itself, and not my body.

I want to touch Ed.

I want to feel how smooth his skin is, what his scars are like, if he's really as warm as I'd always imagined him to be, and I want him to touch me back. I want to know what it's like to be touched too. But mostly, I want to just feel it.

I really want to touch big brother.

But, if he ever knew of this, I'm not sure how I'd react. I don't know how he'll act either. This is such an unknown that I'm terrified of what would happen.

But that's just it. It's just what if's and what would's. It's such a pain to be worrying about it when nothing would come out of it. Besides, I'm going to get my body back, and I'll do everything in my black book and more.


I want to touch Ed.

And he can't ever know this.

So, so? was it so horrible that I should somehow take it down? Was it ok and  I'm just over-reacting? Meh, no one reads these anyway.

Writer's Block: Gifted Ideas

What’s the perfect gift to give to the person who has everything?

A day filled with happiness, fun, and maybe an ice cream cone down the shirt XD
It's those special little moments that makes life worthwhile, right? ^^

Writer's Block: Prohibited

Today marks the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which repealed Prohibition. It might seem crazy to us now, but alcohol was illegal in the U.S. for 13 years. What common vice do you think is most likely to be outlawed in the future?
I think possibly smoking, but not forever. Yes, it's been around since the beginning of time, but now with advanced technology and improved methods of research, scientists may find crazy stuff in that little roll of tobacco, and then health activists will rise with their fist o'doom against the government (or whoever does this stuff) It could be a repeat of the whole alcohol thing, since sometimes, people just don't learn, or they may replace it with something else to satisfy the smokers. But hopefully, the smoking percentage of people will be significantly less by the time that happens because of the whole No Smoking and I Pledge to Not Do Drugs programs in schools.
Or it could be morphine, since it works so well that people go to extremes to get it like any other drug. There may be another one, but I'm not too knowledgable about this. ^^;


...Yeah, it's been a while. Oh well. It's not like anyone actually reads this ^^; But, to those lucky *cough* few who've somehow stumbled across this, what's up? I'm still a little curious as to how to read other people's wonderful stories about everything under the rainbow, the problem is, I don't really feel like sifting through all their posts to read a story. And then it's vice versa. How do I myself make some other page thingy to where I can post and manage my stories? hmmm....
Anyway, it's the last day of Thanksgiving holiday, and I'm killing time procrastinating (woot!) and wondering wonders, be it trivial or pressing, like 'what time should I go to bed tonight' or 'what majors should I go into for college'. stuff.
Anywho, any one who's bothered to read this, please drop a line. I'd love to start a conversation filled with everything under the sun, moon, stars, whatever. ^_^

random thought

i just realized something...when you scratch your eyebrow, do you use your pinkie, thumb, or any other finger to scratch said brow? I use my thumb and do a sort of backwards scratch....^^; i saw in a manga that a guy used his pinkie to scratch, so that kinda led me to wonder :p 


character in dream....

i felt like sharing because it's summer and it's one of those things that i can't help but want to share. ^_^
this was actually a couple days ago, so i only remember a little, so i won't be detailing everything out ^^;

The most significant part of my dream though, was that there was this one teenage boy who was the typical homicidal bad guy in japanese animes type, only that he had this weird asset....yeah. The people in this particular dream have special powers or contracts with monsters/demons or something of that nature since there wasn't really a specification. It's similar to how Shakespearean stories drop you in the middle of the story and forces you to figure the rest out, only this is my dream and it's just something my brain farted out....anyway, continuing with the character description, at that point he tore off his shirt (not in the sexy way though...TT.TT)  and half of his torso and his right arm were blended with said monster/demon and looks corpse gray. His arm didn't have a hand anymore, instead replacing it were a series of teeth-like projections, and the half of his torso that was transformed had almond shaped red eyes that were pupil-less (is that a word? i'm not sure but am also too lazy to check :p) and a gaping mouth with jagged teeth. Also, the guy mentions that this was his "wind element," and that he has a stronger one...yes, my description may not be the best, but I decided to type this on a whim, so bleeeh XP

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April 2011